Quest for Love (the book I'm writing)

Here is a preview so far of the book I am working on...


Quest for Love...


Introduction
All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow someone perfect is searching for us. -The Wonder years


What is Love?? Everyday I ask myself that question. My name is Cori Malone I'm 27 years old and I have no idea what love is? Or if I am capable of being loved?? What does Love feels like? I guess I am very cynical of this word "Love"... there are people who throw love away like its trash... Or they do the opposite and hide it and never share it... I am going to write a book... I am going to find out if true real love is out there... I am going to ask people questions about love, have them share experiences on love and ask for advise. This is my Quest to see if true love exist...


The questions:
1. Do you believe true love exist? What is your first image of love?
2. Love, what is it??
3. How do you know if you really love someone?
4. How do you know when you found the right one?
5. Have you ever had your heart broken?
6. How do you deal with rejection?
7. How do you handle conflict in relationships?
8. Why marriage? What is so special about it?
9. How do you make a relationship last?
10. Why do you think there are so many divorces now a days?
11. Do you believe in divorce? Is there anything that are grounds for divorce?
12. What is your story with true love?
13. What advise do you have about how to find true love?

Do you believe in true love? What is your first image of love?
I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever. - Juno

I would like to believe that there is such thing as true love or real love. But from what I have gone through and seen in relationships, its hard for me to understand or believe in such love. Sometimes I get to the point where I think that I am better off alone or Love is for every body else. Its hard for me to imagine that anyone would ever be in love with me.
When I was a little girl my idea on love was fairy tales. I would watch movies like Cinderella, snow white, beauty and the beast and sleeping beauty and I would dream that one day I would find my prince and live happily ever after. Then I grew up and reality set in and I finally understood that fairy tale love is not real. True Love., Its made up. Real love is hard work and you have to work in order to have it..- Cori age 27


Marissa H age 28 said that I don't believe in love. I never had an image of love towards people, maybe animals but its how I grew up or love was negative and hate


Lacey age 19 said I do believe in true love... I think sometimes you have to try a few times. But I believe there is someone for everyone. My first image of true love was my Parents kissing and hugging all the time

Ammon age 25 Yes I believe in true love. First image on love while I was young was being married by Elvis



Love, what is it?
So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. - the notebook



To me, love is an emotion, something you feel. Love is understanding, appreciation, Love with no demands and expectations. Love fills you with joy and happiness. We want those who we love to be happy, safe, healthy and fulfilled. Love is a strong and lasting emotion. It doesn't just last a little while- cori age 27






Marissa H age 28 said I have no idea, I am still learning and love scares me as of now


Lacey M age 19 said love has a lot to deal with respect for another person sticking with one person no matter the situation getting trough all the tough times.

Ammon age 25 love is happiness love is from the heart its feeling you feel like no other






How do you know if you really love someone?
I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all... I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm with you." - dirty dancing


I have been told you get a feeling that you have never felt before. The way I imagine is everything around you could be falling apart but when you are with that person everything just makes sense. You feel like you belong, that your life has meaning. When one of you are gone away from the other you are sad you don't feel complete but once you are together you know your place in this world. -cori age 27


Marissa H age 28 said I don't, I have sisters and I don't know if I love them


lacey M age 19 said I think once your in love your life just seems right you are happier and things dont seem so hard


ammon 25 when you feel the happiness and joy you never felt before when you are willing to lie you life down for that person.







How do you know when you found the right one?
So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them. -hitch


I am still searching for someone. I haven't had anyone who has wanted to be in my life that way. And no one has wanted to share their life with me.-cori 27

Marissa H age 28 said you don't really, I doubt people do. Its just a saying


lacey age 19 you look into there eyes things that bothered me before dont bother me now. From a girls stand point you feel love like a princess and happy because of the way he treats you

ammon 25 its the kind of butterfly you feel it a different kinda feel sort of like a moth



.




Have you ever had your heart broken?
you spend all your time looking for love yet you feel nothing even when its staring you in the face I will love again but you will spend all your life knowing you turned you back on love and that makes you a hypocrite -cruel intentions


I have had my heart broken many times. That is one reason why I am so cynical on the whole idea on love. I tend to go for emotionally unavailable guys, ones who can not commit. I have put my heart on the line only to have them reject it. Its has been hard thinking that something is wrong with me. I have had low self esteem from this. And it is hard to get back in the game.- cori 27



Marissa H age 28 said I doubt people get one. I think they get so involved with someone they and just say they are.

Lacey m age 19 Yes many times


Ammon 25 hahaha yes









How do you deal with rejection?
I know I have a heart because I feel it breaking. - wizard of oz


When I deal with rejection I doubt myself. Thinking I am not good for anyone. Even when there is nothing wrong with me. They just don't feel the same way as I do I fall deeper within myself not letting people in. I build walls. Push everyone away. I have a hard time trusting. I write down my feelings through poetry that is one way I deal with rejection.- cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said Oh well thank goodness then move on

lacey 19 I cried and eating and sex from a lot of people I didn't know

Ammon 19 I drank smoke pot and became a man whore





How do you handle conflict in relationships?
When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Well, I am not too keen when dealing with conflict. I have seen many people dealing with conflicts. I see emotions that scare me and sometimes make no sense to me. Yelling, saying hurtful words, saying things they don't mean. With me I am usually the peace maker. I do what ever I can to bring peace. I usually get really quiet during fights I tend to flee. -Cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said. I tell them whats up.

Lacey age 19 calming down hearing what the other has to say and working things out. I used to cry and not talk.

Ammon 25 you talk it out dont go to bed at night when you are fighting make sure you are happy.








Why marriage? What is so special about it?
When you realise You want to spend The rest of your life with somebody, You want the rest of your life To start as soon as possible.- when harry met sally



To me marriage is not just a piece of paper or the whole deal with insurance. To me Marriage is committing to each other 100 percent. Being there for the other for the good and bad times. Sharing each others fears as well as dreams. Encouraging each other to become a better person. Marriage is hard work and both people have to give it there all or it won't work.- cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said so you don't have to date any other dumb ass. I guess to be a team but if you really think about it if your in a relationship you basically in a marriage you just don't have to worry about planning? I don't know.

Lacey age 19 It the commitment showing the commitment. If you are just dating/ living its kinda free range

Ammon 25 To be together forever you have to be married







How do you make a marriage/relationship last?
And we are going to last, and you want to know how I know? Because I still wake up every morning and the first thing I want to do, is see your face." - P.S I Love you



To me both people have to commit 100 percent to make any relationship work. Trust, understanding, love, patience, honesty, listening to each other are all apart of making a relationship work. If you don't have those qualities in a relationship then it will be hard to make it last.- cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said if it works great but if its broken it will not last its life.


Lacey age 19 communication and patience and trust

Ammon 25 trust that person communication and compromising give and take









Why do you think there are so many divorces now a days?
Love cannot be found where it doesn't exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. -kissing a fool


I think people rush into marriage way to fast to soon. I think people only see marriage as only the good things it brings and don't think of all the problems marriage brings. Love is blind. People change and also people aren't willing to work out their problems and issues. I think they lose communication stop talking with the other person.- cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said they rush into love or relationships way to fast and they are sick of love they don't really work out some do but not all the time.

Lacey 19 people aren't willing to work on relationships loosing site of the love

Ammon 25 people are not willing to compromising and lose site of what commitment is.











Do you believe in divorce? Is there anything that are grounds for divorce?
There is no rhyme or reason why somethings work and somethings don't,
why you get somethings and why you don't, but life still goes on – the princess bride


I would say I only believe in divorce over a few things. First would be Cheating. To me there is no excuse. If you cant remain faithful then you should not get married in the first place. The second would be abuse, also no excuse if you have a temper work it out on something else that is not your spouse of children. Third if one is not willing to work out problems in the marriage that might be another thing.- cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said Um. It's not great for the kids or anything. yes there is but all out divorce is a sad label no place on those that do.

Lacey 19 if the safety of the person is in jeopardy then its grounds for divorce. If trust is broken purposely then it is also

Ammon 25 cheating abuse










What is your story with true love?
Sometimes all somebody needs is a good chance. -

I am still searching for my love story. -cori age 27

Marissa H age 28 said I don't have one. I have a whole different idea on love because on how I grew up and now if it happens that's okay

Lacey and Ammon married started about a year and a half ago. I saw this girls picture and I was like DAMN I got to talk to that. She accepted my friend request on facebook. And we started talking she seemed legit, she was kinda Cool because I kept asking her to come and hang out with me. She said No you are too hot I would have sex with you and I cant I am trying to be a good girl. And so this kept going on and on and I would keep asking her to hang out. And she said no no no and No. I was so discourage sad and way upset. I deleted her. I moved on and dating another girl I dated this other girl for a little bit and things didn't work out her true colors came out and so did her make up. She was an alien whore with a million stds. During that time Lacey saw that I was dating another girl and she was sad because I thought she lost something good go. Even though he tried for 6 months well... once I broke up I added her just so I could say Hi. And I would give her one more chance and asked her if she wanted to hang out. She said yes that I almost peed myself. We met later that night at a park. Well we sat there for hours and talked and talked about ammons f-ed up life. Well.. I will spare all the details after we talked. she thought it was a one time thing for her but she was wrong. She had feeling for me. couple days later she made me a apron cause she knew I liked cooking. Since that day... I knew I was in love because no girl would sit 2 hours of my bull shit in the park and still want to hang out and be around me. Since that day we have been inseparable except that time she left me for mickey mouse and when I left for big bubba.


What advise do you have about how to find true love?
that thing, that moment, when everything around you becomes hazy.. and the only thing in focus is you and this person..and you realise that that person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life.. and for one moment you get this amazing gift.. and you wanna laugh and you wanna cry cuz you feel so lucky that you found it and so so scared that its all gonna go away all at the same time. -never been kissed


Marissa H age 28 said I don't think people will find true love that is just a saying. I think most people need to know is themselves. To really stick to what they believe is right and not be controlled or hurt. They have to be themselves the rule is what do you want and have in a relationship and if you find someone go for it. Just know no matter what age a person is its okay just stick with one person. And dont follow jaime or ammons advice

Lacey age 19 being open and being kind to everybody and don't fall for someone to fast.

Ammon 25 be yourself God will have a plan. You might not find true love here on this earth but you will have it in the next.







Conclusion
“the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”- moulin rouge

Lean how to skateboard...

Imagine this... You walk outside... Its a perfect day, not to hot and not to cold. Your hanging out with your family laughing, joking around... then out of the corner of your eye you spot a skateboard... You have never tried it before and just looking at it, really how hard can it be right? So You get everybody attention saying look at me I'm pro... You have one foot on the skateboard and get ready to bring your other foot up... when all of a sudden the skateboard slides right behind you and you land on your butt... All the while your family is laughing... Yeah that did not happen to me.. (cough cough)... So I decided to lean how to skateboard... so I got my own skateboard for Christmas this past year... and I have been practicing when the weather permits it... I can now have both my feet up without it flying all over the place... but I can go that fast on it... One day I could be legit and become a pro... Who knows??

Wake up at 6 on a Saturday and watch classic cartoons all morning

So I had the awesome privilege of having a sleepover with my 2 favorite people in the whole wide world.... Yep Rykert and Lilly!! I decided that we would wake up at 6 and watch some awesome cartoons... Well it didn't as planned.. Lilly woke up screaming... I was like whats wrong lilly?? she said I just peed my pants... So I took care of her and though I better wake Ry up... He went to the bathroom... then he was like Cordee I want to lay by you... so we got settled on the living room floor then about a hour later he looked up and puked all over... Holy crap! it was disgusting... once that was taken care of, they didnt sleep so we started watching cartoons at 4 in the morning... I was tired... but I loved every minute of it!!

Being Hypnotized...

So I was Hypnotized this past week... My friend Keely's little sister was doing a fundraiser for her high school softball team. Which was a hypnotist show... So since this was on my bucket list, and not in town I thought sure why not... I don't remember a whole lot. I remember some things but I didn't care what I was doing for instance I was told I was dancing like a gangster, doing the cat walk. things like that ... I woke up the last 15 min. of the show with some guy asking me to smell his shoe... I was like um... No. so the guy said you are not hypnotized anymore, go sit back down... that is basically it.. I don't think I will ever get hypnotized again... or at least in the near future.

Rykert

My nephew Rykert was just diagnosed with Muscular dystrophy. As a family we are trying to do fundraiser to help support Rykert And also to raise awareness of muscular dystrophy.. Check out www.runforry.com and check out his blog at run4ry.blogspot.com

Update on my foundation...

So... This pass few days I started the awesome paperwork to get A child's need foundation up and running legally. I really never understood how much time and energy it would take to actually take. But it is worth it! I read everything I need to do to get it going. there is 11 steps and I am working on step 5 which is writing the bylaws of the foundation. which I am getting the board of directors in for a meeting next Saturday to go over everything. like the structure and rules on how this foundation is going to run. then after that is done i have to then file all the IRS forms which is the biggest part of the whole thing which will take around 3 months. blah. but after that is should be pretty easy going. A child's need foundation should be up and going by next June. I finally found something that makes me happy and something I want to spend my time on. I want to make a difference in not only my life but also for my community.

What to do next??

So right now I am at a stand still. I have no idea what I should do next... I am still waiting for my big game of kickball. Which I am hoping to have in July with my awesome co-workers and families. It going to be our first annual lunch lady BBQ. That I am in charge of. I don't know how i got conned into these things... like setting the whole thing up. But its going to be awesome! Also one of my visiting teachers MaryAnn and I are going to get a big food fight set up. Going to make announcements and everything. Its going to be a "left over" food fight. So everyone is going to bring their left overs and bring it to the park and then its on! Clean up is going to be something though... Blah Oh well So other than those two things... I am still working towards my Foundation. Its called A child's need foundation... Right now I am working on a website for it. This process is going to be hard and a lot of time and effort.. But I feel so passionate about children and making sure they are treated they way they are supposed too. It makes my heartache knowing that people actually hurt children. I read somewhere that people don't believe that child abuse happens in their neighborhood but it does. Its okay to talk about it, to raise awareness about it but it can be prevented by not keeping it a secret. I could talk hours about this. Ha ask my family they tell me to shut up all the time. So I will spare you all... for now Later